Dear Jasper,

Spring break is coming up and I have NOTHING to do! All my friends are going on these fun trips while I’m stuck at home being bored. What do I do with no friends around and no fun trips? I don’t want to sit on my couch the whole break! What should I do?

Sincerely,

Spring Break-itis

Dear Spring Break-itis,

GET YOUR BOOTY OFF THE COUCH! Seriously, you sitting there sighing dramatically and texting “I’m so bored :(((((” isn’t gonna magically make a tropical vacation appear. Do you think complaining is a personality trait? Because I promise you, it’s not. And let’s get one thing straight, are ALL your friends really off on some glamorous, movie-montage-worthy trips? Like, every single one? Doubt it. The ones still in town aren’t chopped liver, so stop acting like the last survivor in a zombie apocalypse and make some plans with the non-traveling population. And okay, fine. Let’s say, for some reason, you actually are the last human left in your city. That just means it’s time to enter your main character era. Do you know how much fun you can have by yourself? Go try that new coffee shop you keep saying you wanna go to but never do. Like Blue Line in Dundee or Roast Coffeehouse in Aksarben village. Binge-watch a ridiculous reality show or the horror Ruby Franke documentary and judge people from your couch (which is different from sitting around bored, because now you’re invested you feel me?). Learn a new skill painting, baking, juggling flaming torches (kiddinggg… kind of). Make a vision board for your actual dream vacation so that next year you’re the one sipping a fancy drink on the beach instead of sulking. And let’s not forget the power of outside. It’s a whole world out there, babe. Go take a hot girl walk. Go thrifting. Go volunteer (you get to feel good and humble-brag about your kindness later). Hit up the gym and come back post-break looking like a fitness influencer. Basically, stop acting like you’ve been sentenced to the world’s most boring punishment. It’s not jail, it’s spring break. So start acting like it!

Later,

Juicy Jasp